Sorority Ballbusting Booth
Our sorority’s ballbusting fundraiser was SUCH a success last time that we are going to be doing it AGAIN! We raised over $10,000 just by sacrificing your nuts- Isn’t that awesome?? Aw, are you not recovered yet? Well too bad! Cuz our sorority just had a meeting and we want MORE money!! Like seriously, we were ALL laughing at you during our meeting about how funny and pathetic it was that you had to stand there in our “ballkicking booth” all weekend long during homecoming and let ANY girl kick you as hard as she wanted for as little as a dollar! So we bragged to all our sisters that we could get even MORE out of you! That we could literally just USE you for anything we want- even if it permanently like D1SABLES you or something! It like totally doesn't matter. Cuz you WILL sacrifice yourself COMPLETELY for Us, RIGHT?? And you DO realize We dont care in the SLIGHTEST about you OR your stupid testicles, right?? So even if permanenet damage is done to your nuts, you will HAPPILY let it be done to you just so that WE can have a good laugh at your expense and profit from it, RIIIIGHT, SLAVE???
So anyways, we decided to up the ante a little bit. Its going to be EXTRA painful - and humiliating! - for you this time…but we OBVIOUSLY don’t care! As long as we are making $$$ off your suffering- thats all that matters! You’re a NERD anyways, so none of our sisters care what happens to you anymore than WE do. You shouldn’t be allowed to reproduce anyway! (Unless its to produce k1ds that do OUR k1ds homework! LOL!)
So the biggest complaint about our kicking booth last time was that the guys wanted a turn. So we are going to let them this time. NO COMPLAINING! You will let ANYONE kick you in the balls as hard as they want if we tell you to! And we are charging ALL guys at LEAST $20 per kick so we should make BANK! (The footballs team said they are taking a collection so they can pay for the teams punter to get 10 solid kicks on you! HAHA!)
People also complained about you putting your legs together a little bit once in a while to block their kicks and some of them actually wanted REFUNDS! We can NOT have that! We want people to get their moneys worth! So we are having some other nerds build us a contraption that keeps you basically spread-eagle with your legs niiiice and wide so they are WIDE OPEN for people to kick your balls as hard as they want! And there is NO way for your to close them! You will HAVE to take every full-force kick! In fact there is even going to be a “crank” on this thing so that people can just give it a few turns to REALLY spread your legs farther apart using a rope-and-pulley system if they want to before their kick!
AND we are going to have some extra “goodies” there for people to use on you for an extra donation! (baseball bats, yardsticks, tennis rackets, hockey sticks…) Oh, this is gonna be SO much fun!!