The Small Cock Defense
These are very serious charges brought against you. Forcing yourself on a woman. You could go to jail for years. But as your attorney and family friend for years I know you are innocent. You are so subby you couldn't offend a women if you tried. I know a defense that will get you out of trouble in no time. We can prove that is scientifically impossible for you to commit this crime. So this is what we are going to do, we can even practice it right now. Pull down your pants so the jury can see what a small penis you have. Don't worry about getting embarrassed. Your freedom is on the line here and it's so obvious you are not physically able to commit this heinous crime. Now start stroking it! We need to show the jury even if you could get an erection it's still too small to have sex with anyone. I think this will definitely work. The jury will feel so sorry for you that they'll find you innocent.