Double Doomed Doormat
So you want to be our HUMAN DOORMAT? Well, All my friends are coming over and we are going to wipe our shoes on your tongue. But first you are going to lick our shoes clean and then I am going to tell you all about the toxic garbage I have stepped in all day. Yup, I said toxic, you probably wont live to see tomorrow so you better enjoy the party! But hey, at least you can dig into all the creases of those boots with your tongue and shoes knowing that it doesn't matter right? I mean your not going to live anyway so enjoy the pooo, grime, piss and everything else that is on all the shoes tonight and thank them for giving it to you!