American Mean Girls

My boyfriend is such a slob. He is always messing up the place leaving his dirty socks and underwear on the floor, beer bottles all over the place (I shouldn't have to pick up dirty underwear!) That's what YOU'RE around for, slave! And my boyfriend is so rude. Ugh. He always leaves the toilet seat down when he peees- even though I tell him not to and it splashes all over the seat. Slave, get in here and lick up my boyfriend's piss from the toilet seat- right now! And if you dare complain about having to lick my boyfriend's piss off the seat I could always arrange to have you drink it directly from the source instead, you know.

-Princess Carmela